They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
