By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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