Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dicks are not precious.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
