I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize