I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
