there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
