Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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