i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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