He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
