I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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