There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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