You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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