Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
