Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
