What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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