Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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