So drunk its hurt
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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