it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
