found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
