You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
