At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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