I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
