I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
