hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
