Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
