I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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