butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
