That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
