plz talk dirty to me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
