So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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