Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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