She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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