I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
