The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
