NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
