3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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