Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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