when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize