tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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