No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
