Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
