come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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