hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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