I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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