you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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