I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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