she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No subtext here. People are naked.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
