I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
