jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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