she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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