Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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