I want to have your abortion
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
