If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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