It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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