Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize