theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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