actually, I'm a sock model
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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