I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
