His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
