Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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