Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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